her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
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