you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
