Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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