well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
