I seem to have left my pride at pride
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
