im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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