Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
He kissed a someone with a penis
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
