____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
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