Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
