know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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