just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
