Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
