Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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