i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
