can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
we're so committed to being not committed
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
