Moan for me like Helen Keller
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
We talked him into tasing himself.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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