I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
