my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
