he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
