Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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