Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
