marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
