Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
