I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
His hands were made for my vagina.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
