Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
