I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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