dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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