the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
