i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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