So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I have feelings that need drinking.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Randomize
