my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
