she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
i think my cat just said my name.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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