i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
