I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
why didn't you poke me back
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
It's shark week go big or go home
Randomize
