So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
