i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
