so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
