I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
