Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
