you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
