It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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