I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
