I want to walk on stilts...naked
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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