So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
