We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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