drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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