dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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