Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
