didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
