I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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